


The Consequence of Choice

by Featherbelle



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherbelle/pseuds/Featherbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the reaction of my Trooper, Jysera Jade, to the mission to prison colony A77 and the subsequent death of Sergeant Ava Jaxo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Consequence of Choice

**Author's Note:**

> As I was playing out this mission, I myself felt like crap for the choice that is put to you...and this fic was born. Enjoy!

Until now, we had been very lucky. Yes, we’ve all been injured on some of our missions, Aric in particular on the mission to sabotage the Imperial superweapon the Gauntlet. But we’ve been lucky in that we’ve never lost anyone in the squadron or anyone we knew or had worked with closely. Until now. 

As I stood there in the command center of prison colony A77, I had to make an unenviable choice. Aric had mentioned something like this to me some time ago, but I foolishly thought it was a choice I’d never have to make. A bit arrogant of me, I suppose, thinking that because we were Havoc Squad and we had not failed yet, that we never would. And this _was_ a failure. 

On paper, the mission was a success. The three hundred fourteen other prisoners were all rescued safely. But my old friend Sergeant Ava Jaxo, who had been imprisoned there by the Empire, was not. We discovered that General Rakton had allowed Jaxo to make contact with Havoc in order to lure the squad and me to the prison in order to kill us all. Rakton showed up with two warships and began a bombardment of the prison. The only way to save the prisoners was to get the prison’s shields running again long enough to get everyone to safety. To do that, the service level had to be vented of atmosphere. The problem? Sergant Jaxo was currently _on_ the service level. So I was left with a horrible choice: save Ava and let the prisoners I had been sent to rescue die, or rescue the prisoners and allow Ava to perish. 

I had never had to face such a decision before. As always, I looked to Aric for guidance. He had been there with me and for me from the beginning on Ord Mantell, and he had yet to let me down. “This is never easy,” he said, and despite the extreme danger in the moment, I could see sympathy in his eyes. “But three hundred against one isn’t a choice.” _No, it isn’t,_ I agreed with him in my mind. _It’s a nightmare._

Tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t save you. Forgive me, Jaxo. But this is my only option.” To the computer technician I stated flatly, “Vent the service level. Get the shields back up and the prison cells open ASAP.”

He turned to the terminal and did as I asked. I just looked at Aric, tears falling unchecked down my face, unable to speak. He looked stoic as ever, but knowing him as well as I did, I knew the decision hadn’t set well with him either. Moments later the tech said, “It worked. Shields are back to ninety percent, but they won’t hold forever. You should return to your ship. I’ll ensure the prisoners are freed and find their way to the transport.”

My breath hitched at that because earlier, that had been what Ava had planned to do. Before this entire thing went to hell. I could barely speak over the painful lump in my throat, but I forced the words out. “If any prisoners die, then you die too, got it?” Ordinarily I wouldn’t have threatened a civilian, but I was hurt and angry. At the mission parameters, General Rakton, the entire situation for forcing me to make that horrendous choice that I could never take back. He nervously nodded and said he understood. As explosions began to rock the prison, Aric and I took off at a dead run for the airlock back to the ship. 

As we ran, I let the tears fall. It’s not like anyone could see anyway, other than Aric, and I knew he wouldn’t fault me for them. The closer we got to the ship the sicker I felt. The urge to fall to my knees and lose the contents of my stomach was beyond overwhelming, but I pushed myself to make it to the ship. 

Once inside, I ran up the stairs and around the corner, past a jabbering C2-N2, trying vainly to make it to my quarters before I lost physical and emotional control completely. No such luck. Once I crossed the doorway onto the main deck, Aric reached out and grabbed me. That was all it took for me to lose my vaunted composure. I screamed and sobbed incoherently, beating my small fists against his heavy armor until my strength gave out, barely recognizing the few words I managed to babble at him. Looking back, I vaguely recall something about why her, why me, the unfairness of it all, and voicing an extreme hatred of General Rakton and wanting his head tacked to the hull of the Thunderclap.

No one said a word during any of this, up to and including when I finally did fall to my knees and lose everything I’d even thought of eating or drinking in the last several hours all over the deckplates by the holoterminal. Silently, Elara knelt and cleaned up after me at the same time that Aric lifted me into his arms and carried me to my quarters. He laid me down on the bed and then he and Elara stripped me of my armor. He stepped out while Elara helped me get cleaned up and dressed, coming back in later with a glass of water, having taken the time to change and shower himself. 

Elara offered me sedatives, which I politely declined. She did however give me an antiemetic, leaving the sedatives anyway in case I changed my mind. She told both Aric and me to let her know if I needed anything else, and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

As I look back on things now, I think that is when I truly fell in love with my executive officer. He alone of the whole squad could understand what I was going through, having commanded his own unit in the Deadeyes. He knew what I did and did not want to hear, and that’s exactly what I got. No stupid platitudes. Aric knew me well enough to know if anyone even thought about telling me time would heal all wounds or some such crap I’d blast a hole in their hide. 

He placed the glass of water on the bedside table next to me, then crossed to the other side of the bed and sat down beside me. Aric just looked at me and held out his arms. With a watery sigh, I curled up on his chest and he just held me. He knew I wasn’t entirely cried out yet, and probably wouldn’t be for a while. He wrapped one arm around me and stroked my hair with the other, carding his fingers through it. Before I knew it, Aric’s clean manly scent and the murmur of his deep voice lulled me into a fitful sleep where I saw Jaxo’s face and heard her voice pleading with me not to let her die. _“You’ve got to get me out of here, Major. I can’t die in this place. I can’t. No…it can’t end like this. It can’t…”_

I awoke some time later, curled onto my side, Aric’s green eyes watching intently from his vantage point facing me. “How are you feeling?” he asked, and he was the only person who could get away with that, aside from Elara. 

“Like bantha dung,” I replied hoarsely, wincing at the sound of my voice and state of my throat. He reached across me and picked up the water glass, waiting while I sat up before handing it to me. I sipped at it slowly, making a face at its warmth. 

“You up to reporting in?” he raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ll talk to the General if you want.”

“Please,” I replied softly. Not only could I not speak very well due to the screaming I had done earlier, but I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with Garza right now. The orders to rescue those prisoners, and thus, leave Jaxo to die, were given by her. I knew if I had to talk to her now, as raw as the wounds still were, I’d lose it. Again, Aric knew me well enough to know this, which is why he offered. 

We both got up and I grabbed my hairbrush to tame my sleep-tangled hair that had grown considerably in the last three years. Aric took the brush from me and gently ran it through my hair. His comforting behavior was the complete antithesis to the gruff almost grumpy man I had met on Ord Mantell, and it made me smile. He must have noticed my expression in the mirror on the wall, because he asked me, “What are you smiling about?”

“You,” I replied. “This whole ‘playing nursemaid’ thing of yours…doesn’t mesh with the grouch I met when I joined Havoc Squad.”

He just grunted noncommittally as he set the brush down on my dresser. “I’m different now.” 

And he was, but I wasn’t going to comment on it. Not yet anyway. Maybe later. I had feelings of a less than professional nature for my XO, and I wasn’t fool enough to let on about them, especially when I had no idea if he felt anywhere close to the same. 

We walked out to the holoterminal and he put the call in to the General. It only took her moments to respond. 

“General, this is Captain Jorgan. A77 was a trap. We managed to rescue most of the prisoners, but Sergeant Jaxo was killed in action,” he started off bluntly. 

“I’m sorry to hear about Jaxo,” the General replied, “but it sounds like you were very fortunate to save as many as you did. What happened exactly?”

“Rakton arranged everything,” Aric told her. “It was a setup. Jaxo was allowed to get free and make that call to us. He was waiting for us when we got there. Two warships bombarded the station. We barely managed to set free what prisoners we did.”

“Tell me more about Sergeant Jaxo. Was she killed during the operation, or had she been recaptured before you arrived?”

I looked at Aric and tried to convey what I felt without words. _Please don’t tell the General I killed Jaxo. Please…_

“Sergeant Jaxo sacrificed her life to save the others,” my loyal XO explained. “She deserves a posthumous award.”

“Understood,” the General said. “I’ll get the documentation started immediately. It’s the least we could do.” Yes it was, especially since I was responsible for her death. 

General Garza continued the debriefing. “General Rakton is going to great lengths to remove Havoc from the war. We’re clearly on the right track.”

After what had happened today, I hoped like hell she was right. I wanted Rakton to pay for Jaxo’s death. 

“Let’s keep the pressure on. Your next assignment is on a planet called Voss. I’m sending the coordinates now. Contact me as soon as you arrive.”

“Of course, General,” Aric replied. 

“Captain?” Garza said, her expression changing to one of concern that we could even read through the holo transmission. “Is everything alright? Why have you conducted the debrief and not Major Jade?”

Aric looked down at me and I nodded. “Major Jade is unable to speak right now, General.”

“What happened?” she demanded. “Were you hurt? Why didn’t you tell me about this, Captain?”

I put up a hand to forestall any more ranting from the General at my XO. It wasn’t called for and I wouldn’t stand for it. Glancing at Aric, I whispered, “Get Elara.”

“Dorne!” he shouted. 

She came running. “Yes sir?”

“Explain the Major’s condition to the General, please,” he requested. 

“Upon the Major and Captain’s return to the ship at the conclusion of the mission, Major Jade was violently ill, with varying symptoms of shock, General. I medicated the Major appropriately, and the Captain kept watch over her while she slept.” Turning to me, Elara asked, “How do you feel now, Major?”

I glared at her. When I got my voice back, I was going to have a few words with her about putting me on the spot in front of General Garza like this. I shrugged. “Tired. A little hungry,” I rasped. 

“Take care of her, Lieutenant. I need you all in top form when you arrive at Voss. Garza out.” With that, the holoterminal winked out. 

“All right, that’s enough of that,” Aric declared, picking me up and carrying me back toward my quarters. Over his shoulder, he told Elara, “Get the Major something to eat that will stay put, would you, Lieutenant? And a cold drink as well please.”

Elara replied affirmatively and hurried off to do as she was asked. 

Once in my room, Aric kicked the door shut and set me down on the bed, watching me intently, his green eyes missing nothing. “What else?” he asked.

“What do you mean what else?”

“I know you didn’t tell Garza the whole truth. You know you can tell me anything, right?” he asked, coming to sit beside me again, pulling me into his side. 

Ha. I only wish that were true. Aric had no idea what I really wanted to say to him. 

“Jysera…” he prodded, using my given name. It was one of the few times he had done so, and the sound of my name on his lips did funny things to my insides. Instead of blurting what was on the tip of my tongue, I focused on my pain and anger. 

“Rakton needs to pay for this. I may have made the decision to end Jaxo’s life, but I would have never been put in that position if not for him. I want him dead, Aric,” I confessed, and it was true. I wanted that Imperial bastard to die…at my own hand. Emotional overload hit me again, and I felt tears in my eyes. I let them fall. 

That was one thing I loved about Aric, and one of the reasons I loved him. I could let go with him. I could show more emotions around him than those I projected to the rest of the squad or to General Garza. They all saw me as the confident, in control leader of Havoc Squad. But with Aric, I could just be me. Jysera. 

“I’m sure we’ll get there,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me as I cried.


End file.
